“That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.” –1 John 1:1-4
Biterness and Contempt
I often find it interesting that when you enter someone’s home for the first time, you learn a lot about it in the first 5 minutes. I can recall from my childhood the friends’ houses that I didn’t like visiting. At the time, I don’t think I could have formulated the reasons I didn’t like going, but now, looking back, every reason is crystal clear. Bitterness, resentment, yelling – these were the reasons I didn’t want to spend time in these households
In 1 John, we see in verse one that the disciples had heard, seen, and touched the Gospel.
“That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched” – 1 John 1:1a
This implies quite clearly that the Gospel can be heard, seen, and touched.
As one Pastor puts it, “Your theology comes out your fingertips” – Douglas Wilson
Because “Your theology comes out your fingertips”, we need to be careful what our theology is. When you invite someone into your home, there should be an alluring sense of joy and fellowship. When you think of fellowship, my guess is that you think potluck dinner after a church service. But my definition is as follows: Christian Love, and affection unhindered by sin.
Of course, our Fellowship on earth is a mere glimpse of what fellowship will be like in Heaven. On this earth our fellowship will always be hindered by sin. But this definition is what my wife and I aim for in our home.
“Out of the Overflow of the Heart”
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. –Luke 6:45
Bitterness and contempt are ugly. The longer they are left untended, the more vile they become. There are too many Christian households dominated by anger, bitterness, and contempt.
The solution to this is to love what God loves and hate what God hates. You must grow a hatred for sin, or it will dominate you.
As we see in the passage above: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,”
This passage clearly shows us that what we love and what we hate comes out of us. If we hate serving our families, it will come out of us and vice versa. We must therefore store up good in our hearts that it may overflow to those around us. “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
Christian Principles for Forgiveness
Have you ever heard someone apologize like this: “I’m sorry what I said hurt your feelings”?
This method of apology is wrong on many accounts. I used to ask for forgiveness this way. To understand how to forgive, we must be sure of what forgiveness is. Forgiveness has two parts: mercy and grace. Mercy can be defined as not giving the offender punishment that is rightly owed to them. And Grace can be defined as a free and undeserved gift.
A clear example of this is Jesus. He set the stage for us to understand what Mercy and Grace
are by dying on the cross, taking our punishment on himself, and giving us the undeserved gift of salvation and the Holy Spirit. This is true Mercy and Grace. Therefore, we must apply this understanding of Forgiveness to our relationships.
Here are two practical tips that I have found increasingly beneficial in my marriage and other relationships:
- When you apologize, say I am sorry for _____ and I was wrong.
This is crucial because it humbles yourself and does not focus on the other person’s imperfections, but focuses on your wrongdoing.
- I have sinned before you and God, will you forgive my offense?
For me, it has been helpful to realize the weight of my sin. When you sin, you offend God. That should be a big deal to us as Christians.
Why Fellowship Matters
Fellowship is such an important piece of Christian living because it shows what we believe about God. As Christians, what comes out of us is seen, heard, and felt by believers and unbelievers. Additionally, we must model Christ in all we do. Christ does not want to be out of fellowship with his children. In fact, he hated the disfellowship so much that he sent his only begotten son to die a cruel death to bring us back to the fold of God.
Therefore, our brotherly love and affection should be abundant because we are to model Christ in all that we say and do. If we continue in resentment, bitterness, and anger towards others, we are inherently saying that Christ is resentful, bitter, and angry towards his children, and this is untrue.
Putting the Pieces Together
In our household, using these principles of joy, fellowship, and forgiveness has brought forth much fruit. Once you experience being “in fellowship” with your spouse, you will never want to go back to the way things used to be. It is a small taste of what is to come in heaven. As we see in 1 John, this is so your “joy may be complete”. You cannot have complete joy when you are out of fellowship with God, your family, or your friends.
Summary
I encourage striving for fellowship and unity in your home. May the aroma of your home be as fresh as bread baking in the oven. When you invite people into your home, you want them to come back. Not because of your great deeds, but because of your fellowship that is possible through the blood-bought salvation that we have in Christ Jesus.
We must be faithful in preaching the Gospel, but we also must show the Gospel at work in how we live as Christians.
(For more on the topic of Fellowship in relationships, I highly recommend Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson)
Photo Credit: Unsplash
