Marriage should be a top priority, something you’re always working toward. I don’t mean all day, every day. I do mean that, until you are, it should be a guiding principle for how you live your life. If you are an adult or close, live as if marriage is the goal in the next couple of years. Work toward it. Be ready.
My family was watching an old episode of the show “Dog Whisperer” from some 20 years ago the other night. The hero of the show, Cesar Millan, was getting the owner of the disobedient dog to explain her relationship with her pet. When Cesar had heard enough and started critiquing her behavior, the lady only nodded her head in support and explained that she did, indeed, do those things. But, she didn’t. She was doing the opposite. And, her behavior was getting the expected outcome. An unruly dog. How did she convince herself her behavior was 180 degrees from where it really was?
I have seen young ladies who want to get married cut their hair short (1 Corinthians 11:14-15), dress provocatively (Proverbs 7:10), go to clubs (Proverbs 7:11-12), get tattoos and nose piercings (1 Peter 3:3), put stickers all over their vehicle, their laptop, and their water bottle, and wonder where all the good men have gone. Desperate to be loved, they do everything that gets them attention.
Car wrecks also get attention.
I have seen young men who want to get married walk around with bird chests and pencil necks, or spare tires and double chins (Proverbs 20:29), hunched inward with all the confidence of a mouse. Not a dollar to their name, they take a cheap shortcut to success and family through an obsession with video games and OnlyFans girls. Desperate for a sense of peace through conquest, they have neither.
Men and women, this is not the way. This is not what you were created for. It’s a hollowed-out version Satan uses to deceive. And he is desperate to blow up the family, the created order, the awesome power and terrible beauty of a godly marriage, two people becoming one, producing godly offspring, because that is how he loses (Genesis 3:15).
Though he promises much, he cannot deliver. The way Satan proffers is sinful, and sin can only lead you to one end, for the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). It is utterly powerless to lead you anywhere else.
But, Western Women
(Genesis 3:12-13) Men, stop blaming the degradation of America and the state of modern women on your failures, as if some feminist harpy you’ve never met is the direct cause of your circumstances. Proverbs 21:9 says, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife,” and Proverbs 21:19 says, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” These are not excuses to go unmarried. These are warnings to young men to avoid such a woman. If you have trouble spotting these women from a mile off, before marriage, ask an older man with wisdom.
Women are exactly what we need to take America back. Out of everything God created, it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). You don’t need all the women out there, only one. Find your wife (Proverbs 18:22) and be fruitful (Proverbs 5:15) with her (Genesis 1:28).
Women, stop fighting your nature. When I see a “boss babe” in a high-paying career, with a husband, children, and a look on her face that says, “I’m doing it all,” I know she’s stressed up to her eyeballs. Her marriage is going downhill, her children miss her, and let’s be honest, she’s not irreplaceable at work, though she is at home. I often think of an old Greek fable about a crab and his mother. The mother crab tells her son to walk straight, but the son is unable and so asks his mother to show him how. The mother, after an attempt, is unable to either. Though perhaps not the intended lesson, it often comes to mind because the mother crab was created precisely to walk sideways, or left and right, not forward and backward. But she resented her very essence and wanted to be something else.
War! War! War!
Look around. We’re at war. There’s no shortage of people saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace (Jeremiah 6:14), but as it burns down around us, it’s past time to wake up.
We were born for right here and right now. This is our time to fight. And God’s long-term earthly strategy has always been one man, one woman, married and having children. Listen to Malachi 2:15: “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.”
What does that have to do with fighting?
Listen to Psalm 127:4: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.”
How do we fight?
Deuteronomy 6:4-9: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
We raise up godly offspring in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
“We R Smart”
It is popular these days to make fun of the Left’s stupidity. “They don’t even know who they are. They can’t even define ‘woman!’”
Can we?
Think of a woman finishing college at all costs, so she doesn’t have to rely on her husband, and has a backup plan in case of an unfortunate divorce. She’s laboring in her career so she can move up one more spot to director or vice president. She’s frantic to fit in with the men she’s been proselytized to believe are better than her. She’s trying harder and harder to be a better man because the actual men she’s competing with are winning. She holds off marriage and family because a husband, and most definitely children, would get in the way of her career, her success. Her life. If this is a strong, independent, brave, and beautiful woman to you – Stop. This type of female ambition leads to murder (2 Kings 11). The blood of the million dead babies that we spill every year confirms it.
And, hey, maybe you don’t go whole hog. Maybe you even think submitting to your husband is fine, with caveats. As long as he is right. As long as he is not making a mistake. As long as he loves you like Christ. As long as your husband is perfect.
Let me help you with the word submission. It is not involved when your desires are fulfilled, no. Submission comes in right at the tail end of getting what you want. It flies forth as an option only at the second you do not get what your passions demand (James 4:1).
Ephesians 5:24: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
Counter Culture?
You think it’s a hot take to not want to get married? Satan shouts in triumph. As Genesis 3:15 says, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” We all know this is talking about Jesus, but it’s not only talking about Him. This is God’s plan for womanhood.
Marriagelessness is not a hot take. It’s embarrassingly floating with the current. It’s bobbing with the flotsam of our septic culture. It is utterly mainstream and completely opposed to Christianity, no matter how many professing Christians bloviate in favor.
Listen to Paul in 1 Timothy 2:15: “Yet she will be saved through childbearing–if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” Women need children.
Why are so many Christians confused?
This is a topic that many are genuinely confused by. It’s quite remarkable, since most of human history was not. However, there are many who are not confused. They are not deceived. They are cowards. They will not say or do anything, because with so much at stake, they close their fist around their earthly possessions, always waiting for someone else to take the lead. After all, they know the first person on the beach is getting shot (Mark 4:19). Unfortunately, when a man does take the lead, this condemns the cowards that should have, and they often get stabbed in the back.
“Explain It Like I’m 5”
Many books and treatises have been written on manhood and womanhood, but I’m going to try and make it simpler and, hopefully, helpful. I am not going to set up every guard rail necessary for a perfectly masculine or feminine life, but one or two tracks to get you headed in the right direction in our current culture.
Men, be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:6,9,18; Deuteronomy 31:7). This is not a suggestion or option; it is the work you were created for. If you are truly strong and courageous, none of that fake stuff masquerading as virtue, other men will follow you. And not only that, but real women will take notice as well. Find your task, set to your mission, and for many of you, your helper is likely to notice you before you even notice her, making her all too ready to accept your eventual offer to go out for coffee.
Women, be quiet and gentle. Work toward this. It is in your nature, but not your sin nature. In doing so, your faith will be widely honored and acclaimed (Proverbs 27:2). These are the women that men talk about and revere (1 Peter 3:5-6). The woman that even half a man, deep in his bones, would gladly die for.
To A Thousand Generations
Your family line extends all the way back to Adam and Eve. Through war, famine, slavery, and the wilderness, your ancestry has remained unbroken against all odds, placing you here on stage for but a little while (James 4:14). Sure, some were recorded in the Bible, and some discovered calculus or electricity, but for the vast majority of mankind, God’s legacy for us is primarily our children. Our single greatest contribution to history is the eternal souls the Lord places in our charge for a few mere heartbeats.
Whether you’re just getting started or you’ve already been here a while, your time is almost up. Give every piece of advice, every joy, every possible advantage, spiritual and even financial, to your children, that they might continue your legacy, God’s legacy, with more than you had, with more momentum than you received, to build a bigger and greater future filled with more beauty and power 10,000 years from now than we could ever imagine.
But first, get married and have a ton of babies.
